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Tuesday, February 17, 2009 @
5:37 pm
Pris Confesses
(Note: This is more of like History of Priscilla. If you aren't interested or plan to critize, buzz off! The red cross at the top right-hand corner ain't for show. Alternatively, "alt-f4" should show you the exit. Don't be afraid to keep my tag flowing with encouragements. xD Oh btw, SUPER lengthy!)
If anyone ever knew me since I was in Primary School, they should remember Pris as someone confident and boastful. I always brag and lie. I never realised why I lied only until today. I was deep in my thoughts, as insomnia hits me again, about the time when I was still in Primary School.
Actually, I lied to cover up many of my weaknesses. 1st, I started to lie about moving house. Because, all my friends were moving, I didn't want to feel left out. 2nd, I lied about the buses that could reach my "new" home. Just to gain their attention, so that they will be with me. 3rd I lied to the prefects on duty. I made use of the lie I told my friends about moving, so I wouldn't be punished for coming in late.
Thinking back, I'd really laugh at my own stupidity and naive-ness. Though, I realised how insecure I felt back then and the fear of losing attention of my friends. Despite being feeling insecure, I still had the courage to talk to my friends. I was such a chatterbox.
As I reflect upon the present me, I could tell that I am still the insecure girl, years back. The only difference is I lost the courage to have faith and confidence in myself. I wondered what made me lose my courage. Why? Instantly, my memory brought me back to the year I was 13, in Sec 1.
I remember how I was mentally tormented by my classmates. That reminded me of the days that I rushed home right after school to cry or hide in a corner of the school where people won't notice me. This experience led me to self-pity. I always wondered why I am being treated this way, but never actually did anything to find out. I was afraid that the problem lies with me.
This mental torture lasted for 3 long years. I avoided seeking help from adults, because I know they'll point fingers at me and tell me to do things I don't want to do. I define this as self-denial. I didn't want to admit that I was the one at fault(if I was). Haha! Believe it or not, I still don't know why I'm being treated that way till today. I did ask my classmates when I was 16/17. They simply said they were being childish. =.=
This 3 year experience made a big impact in my life. It made me lose my courage. From then on, I seldom approach my friends. I rarely take the 1st step to talk to people. Very often, I only answer question they ask me. I NEVER initiate a question regarding them, until when I reached a certain point. That was when I realised that I urgently need to expand my social circle. I had to little friends. With that low self-esteem, I have difficulties starting a conversation with friends till now, but I'm improving.
The naive me, is too trusting. I seldom doubt the intentions of people who approach me. Instead, I'd feel so happy that they want to be friends with me, no matter how uncomfortable I felt.
Right at this moment, I'm wondering why I felt insecure when I was in Primary School. The only reason I could think of is the quarrel of my parents when I was in Primary 3. When I was young, I'd only cry when I was caned or when my parents won't get me the toys I want. When I was 9(Pri 3), it was the 1st time I felt upset not because of canes or toys. It was because of my parents' attitude towards each other and us, their children. They were on the verge of getting a divorce.
I remembered who I kept looking for mummy during that period. There was once, my mummy left me with Grandma and went out. I cried and cried for mummy till my Grandma got fed up and beat me. Grandma dotes on me a lot. She never hit me before. She was really angry that day. I felt unwanted.
There was another incident. Mummy left me with my aunty whom I was very afraid of at that time. She was fierce. Someone(I forgot who) was admitted to the hospital, I don't know why(I was too young). My aunty brought me to the hospital to visit him. At that moment, I only wanted Mummy. I know mummy was there, and I was right. I had the sudden impulse to rush out of the ward, and I was mummy. I ran towards her and hugged her, but she pushed me away. She said, “you hug me for what!?!?!" I started crying and continue to hug her. I was so short that I could only hug her legs. I could feel her trying to push me away while trying not to hurt me. I only let go when I saw me aunty. (Very dramatic right?) (Note: Funny eh? My sis wasn't there. I wonder why?) I never knew why she stood outside.
Many of these memories have never been told to anyone and were kept deep in my heart, especially the part about lying and the dramatic part. Although these memories aren't exactly a big burden to me, I feel so much better after spilling them out. Hehe! Thank you for reading, if you actually read till this far. =D
Saturday, February 14, 2009 @
4:41 am
Old Anime Loves
I've been watching animes after finish the China drama.
I watched "Akazuking Chacha" first. Man, this anime series is really hard to find. Many were broken videos. But I managed to find the full series of it, here and there. Haha! Anyways, "Akazukin Chacha" is a girlish+childish anime. =x The one thing about this anime that made me complete 74 episodes of it is the funny-ness of it. With all the funny spells and wrongly messed up magic, HAHA!! The only 2 parts that put me off, is that every episodes ends with ChaCha transforming into Magical Princess and always successfully "save the day", and the whole series is a little draggy. Pris rates this anime: 3.5/5
After "Akazukin Chacha", I went on to watch "Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne". This anime is OMG-nessly good! Its a girlish anime with a little tinniiee weeeniieee childish bit. As many could tell, most of the girlish anime is either a little bit or just a whole load of childish-ness. Eg. 'Akazukin Chacha', 'Hello Kitty' and 'Cardcaptor Sakura', just to name a few.
In this anime, i liked every single character in it. Including the villains(!), other then those ugly looking demons and one cute-looking demon(with a heart of a demon, in case you think she's a good one) called, Myst. The true-self of Myst is pretty ugly anyways. Haha! Just so sad that this anime has only 44 episodes. Didn't get enough of it. But if it has more episodes, it'd be draggy like "Akazukin ChaCha", i guess. =x Pris rates this anime: 4.5/5 (It didn't get full, 5/5, coz of the sucky ending. You'll understand if you watch it. I heard the manga series has an ending thats alot better. =x)
Read more about it here" (Not exactly a good summery, but its the best i could find)
Monday, February 09, 2009 @
1:36 pm
- r O x - Annual Reunion Dinner Pictures!
All getting ready to eat!
Jerome wants food! Why aren't the food ready yet?!?!
Drink 1st while waiting.. Drinks free flow what!?!?
Yu Sheng!! (Before)
Yu Sheng (While)
Yu Sheng (After) LOL!
Our next dish! Shark's Fin Soup With Bamboo Piths
大少爷s waiting to be served..
Yum Yum~~
Why take so long one???!!!
Wah! Finally!! Jerome eat until~~~~
House Roasted Crispy Chicken /w Sauce
Steamed Red Snapper Fish In HK Style (Before)
Steamed Red Snapper Fish In HK Style (After) Poor fish~
Braised Two Type Mushroom & Dried Slice Scallop With Seasonal Vegetables
Our popular Dish~ Gone within seconds~ Fried Prawn Balls With Oats
Double Happiness Eu-Fu Noodles
The pathetic dish that we played~ Traditional Dessert With White Fungus & Gingko Nuts
Us! After the dinner!!
Group Photo!
No JuBeat photos~ Haha!! Thats all folks! =P
Saturday, February 07, 2009 @
11:28 pm
Recent Drama Addicts(for me)
Recently, i was after this old china drama series that i'll never get bored of, called “情深深雨蒙蒙”(Romance In The Rain), by Vicky Zhao(赵薇）, Leo Ku(古巨基), Ruby Lin(林心如), Alec Su(苏友朋). Almost the original casts of "还珠格格"(Princess Returning Pearl), except for Leo Ku, who later became "五阿哥"(5th Prince) in the 3rd season of "还珠格格". Hehehe~ Aiya, they are all somehow related to that "还珠格格" series la! =x
It's an old drama that was aired in 2002 or 2003 in SCV/Starhub Cable, and later in Channel 8(forgot which year). My sis was playing that song "好想好想" by Leo Ku from the OST of "情深深雨蒙蒙". Then thought i wanted to watch it again. Took me a really long time to find all the episodes with not bad quality. I found loads of seriously bad quality ones that i didn't even want to watch the remaining of the part 1 of the 1st episode. I found a reasonable good quality, almost full(funny, they have like a few parts missing), series of it in youtube.
I spent sleepless nights trying to complete the series. This time, watching it seriously(last time too young to understand it la), I really find it SUPERBLY nice. If you guys have the time, do watch it on youtube(the VCD/DVD very expensive ar =x). =)
Chinese one more detailed. If you won't see till stars pop out from your eyes reading it, be my guest. =x
Anyways, I'm looking for this song!! I can't find it >.< Its one of the songs in the drama.
Song: 离别的车站 By: 赵薇 Vicky Zhao
PS: Leo Ku very SHUAI! *melts* He looks so gentleman. Pris have that soft spot for gentlemen, especially handsome ones. *shy*
Sunday, February 01, 2009 @
8:42 pm
Rotting at home
I should be looking for a job, but well, i'm just rotting at home Playing Roller Coaster Tycoon 3. =.=
Life is just as boring as anyone who always rots at home. But i managed to switch my body clock to normal. =x Sleeping at 10 or 11pm and waking up as early as 6am. LOL! I thought i will never have this kind of normal life. HAHA! So leading a normal life =/= rotting at home.
Note to self: Pris should get a job soon!!
The Girl!
Priscilla AwYong
twenty eight
sixteen-april-eighty nine
aries Blissfully attached to my boy
-------------------------
Free-loader
Loves!
♥ My Boy
Family, Friends
Dance, Play, Outings
Pink, Purple, Blue, Green
Hello Kitty, Cute things, Pretty nails
Jon ♥
The Guy!
Jonathan Low
twenty three
first-april-ninety four
aries Blissfully attached to my girl
-------------------------
Beggar for hire
Loves!
♥ My Girl
Durian
Tuesday, February 17, 2009 @
5:37 pm
Pris Confesses
(Note: This is more of like History of Priscilla. If you aren't interested or plan to critize, buzz off! The red cross at the top right-hand corner ain't for show. Alternatively, "alt-f4" should show you the exit. Don't be afraid to keep my tag flowing with encouragements. xD Oh btw, SUPER lengthy!)
If anyone ever knew me since I was in Primary School, they should remember Pris as someone confident and boastful. I always brag and lie. I never realised why I lied only until today. I was deep in my thoughts, as insomnia hits me again, about the time when I was still in Primary School.
Actually, I lied to cover up many of my weaknesses. 1st, I started to lie about moving house. Because, all my friends were moving, I didn't want to feel left out. 2nd, I lied about the buses that could reach my "new" home. Just to gain their attention, so that they will be with me. 3rd I lied to the prefects on duty. I made use of the lie I told my friends about moving, so I wouldn't be punished for coming in late.
Thinking back, I'd really laugh at my own stupidity and naive-ness. Though, I realised how insecure I felt back then and the fear of losing attention of my friends. Despite being feeling insecure, I still had the courage to talk to my friends. I was such a chatterbox.
As I reflect upon the present me, I could tell that I am still the insecure girl, years back. The only difference is I lost the courage to have faith and confidence in myself. I wondered what made me lose my courage. Why? Instantly, my memory brought me back to the year I was 13, in Sec 1.
I remember how I was mentally tormented by my classmates. That reminded me of the days that I rushed home right after school to cry or hide in a corner of the school where people won't notice me. This experience led me to self-pity. I always wondered why I am being treated this way, but never actually did anything to find out. I was afraid that the problem lies with me.
This mental torture lasted for 3 long years. I avoided seeking help from adults, because I know they'll point fingers at me and tell me to do things I don't want to do. I define this as self-denial. I didn't want to admit that I was the one at fault(if I was). Haha! Believe it or not, I still don't know why I'm being treated that way till today. I did ask my classmates when I was 16/17. They simply said they were being childish. =.=
This 3 year experience made a big impact in my life. It made me lose my courage. From then on, I seldom approach my friends. I rarely take the 1st step to talk to people. Very often, I only answer question they ask me. I NEVER initiate a question regarding them, until when I reached a certain point. That was when I realised that I urgently need to expand my social circle. I had to little friends. With that low self-esteem, I have difficulties starting a conversation with friends till now, but I'm improving.
The naive me, is too trusting. I seldom doubt the intentions of people who approach me. Instead, I'd feel so happy that they want to be friends with me, no matter how uncomfortable I felt.
Right at this moment, I'm wondering why I felt insecure when I was in Primary School. The only reason I could think of is the quarrel of my parents when I was in Primary 3. When I was young, I'd only cry when I was caned or when my parents won't get me the toys I want. When I was 9(Pri 3), it was the 1st time I felt upset not because of canes or toys. It was because of my parents' attitude towards each other and us, their children. They were on the verge of getting a divorce.
I remembered who I kept looking for mummy during that period. There was once, my mummy left me with Grandma and went out. I cried and cried for mummy till my Grandma got fed up and beat me. Grandma dotes on me a lot. She never hit me before. She was really angry that day. I felt unwanted.
There was another incident. Mummy left me with my aunty whom I was very afraid of at that time. She was fierce. Someone(I forgot who) was admitted to the hospital, I don't know why(I was too young). My aunty brought me to the hospital to visit him. At that moment, I only wanted Mummy. I know mummy was there, and I was right. I had the sudden impulse to rush out of the ward, and I was mummy. I ran towards her and hugged her, but she pushed me away. She said, “you hug me for what!?!?!" I started crying and continue to hug her. I was so short that I could only hug her legs. I could feel her trying to push me away while trying not to hurt me. I only let go when I saw me aunty. (Very dramatic right?) (Note: Funny eh? My sis wasn't there. I wonder why?) I never knew why she stood outside.
Many of these memories have never been told to anyone and were kept deep in my heart, especially the part about lying and the dramatic part. Although these memories aren't exactly a big burden to me, I feel so much better after spilling them out. Hehe! Thank you for reading, if you actually read till this far. =D
Saturday, February 14, 2009 @
4:41 am
Old Anime Loves
I've been watching animes after finish the China drama.
I watched "Akazuking Chacha" first. Man, this anime series is really hard to find. Many were broken videos. But I managed to find the full series of it, here and there. Haha! Anyways, "Akazukin Chacha" is a girlish+childish anime. =x The one thing about this anime that made me complete 74 episodes of it is the funny-ness of it. With all the funny spells and wrongly messed up magic, HAHA!! The only 2 parts that put me off, is that every episodes ends with ChaCha transforming into Magical Princess and always successfully "save the day", and the whole series is a little draggy. Pris rates this anime: 3.5/5
After "Akazukin Chacha", I went on to watch "Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne". This anime is OMG-nessly good! Its a girlish anime with a little tinniiee weeeniieee childish bit. As many could tell, most of the girlish anime is either a little bit or just a whole load of childish-ness. Eg. 'Akazukin Chacha', 'Hello Kitty' and 'Cardcaptor Sakura', just to name a few.
In this anime, i liked every single character in it. Including the villains(!), other then those ugly looking demons and one cute-looking demon(with a heart of a demon, in case you think she's a good one) called, Myst. The true-self of Myst is pretty ugly anyways. Haha! Just so sad that this anime has only 44 episodes. Didn't get enough of it. But if it has more episodes, it'd be draggy like "Akazukin ChaCha", i guess. =x Pris rates this anime: 4.5/5 (It didn't get full, 5/5, coz of the sucky ending. You'll understand if you watch it. I heard the manga series has an ending thats alot better. =x)
Read more about it here" (Not exactly a good summery, but its the best i could find)
Monday, February 09, 2009 @
1:36 pm
- r O x - Annual Reunion Dinner Pictures!
All getting ready to eat!
Jerome wants food! Why aren't the food ready yet?!?!
Drink 1st while waiting.. Drinks free flow what!?!?
Yu Sheng!! (Before)
Yu Sheng (While)
Yu Sheng (After) LOL!
Our next dish! Shark's Fin Soup With Bamboo Piths
大少爷s waiting to be served..
Yum Yum~~
Why take so long one???!!!
Wah! Finally!! Jerome eat until~~~~
House Roasted Crispy Chicken /w Sauce
Steamed Red Snapper Fish In HK Style (Before)
Steamed Red Snapper Fish In HK Style (After) Poor fish~
Braised Two Type Mushroom & Dried Slice Scallop With Seasonal Vegetables
Our popular Dish~ Gone within seconds~ Fried Prawn Balls With Oats
Double Happiness Eu-Fu Noodles
The pathetic dish that we played~ Traditional Dessert With White Fungus & Gingko Nuts
Us! After the dinner!!
Group Photo!
No JuBeat photos~ Haha!! Thats all folks! =P
Saturday, February 07, 2009 @
11:28 pm
Recent Drama Addicts(for me)
Recently, i was after this old china drama series that i'll never get bored of, called “情深深雨蒙蒙”(Romance In The Rain), by Vicky Zhao(赵薇）, Leo Ku(古巨基), Ruby Lin(林心如), Alec Su(苏友朋). Almost the original casts of "还珠格格"(Princess Returning Pearl), except for Leo Ku, who later became "五阿哥"(5th Prince) in the 3rd season of "还珠格格". Hehehe~ Aiya, they are all somehow related to that "还珠格格" series la! =x
It's an old drama that was aired in 2002 or 2003 in SCV/Starhub Cable, and later in Channel 8(forgot which year). My sis was playing that song "好想好想" by Leo Ku from the OST of "情深深雨蒙蒙". Then thought i wanted to watch it again. Took me a really long time to find all the episodes with not bad quality. I found loads of seriously bad quality ones that i didn't even want to watch the remaining of the part 1 of the 1st episode. I found a reasonable good quality, almost full(funny, they have like a few parts missing), series of it in youtube.
I spent sleepless nights trying to complete the series. This time, watching it seriously(last time too young to understand it la), I really find it SUPERBLY nice. If you guys have the time, do watch it on youtube(the VCD/DVD very expensive ar =x). =)
Chinese one more detailed. If you won't see till stars pop out from your eyes reading it, be my guest. =x
Anyways, I'm looking for this song!! I can't find it >.< Its one of the songs in the drama.
Song: 离别的车站 By: 赵薇 Vicky Zhao
PS: Leo Ku very SHUAI! *melts* He looks so gentleman. Pris have that soft spot for gentlemen, especially handsome ones. *shy*
Sunday, February 01, 2009 @
8:42 pm
Rotting at home
I should be looking for a job, but well, i'm just rotting at home Playing Roller Coaster Tycoon 3. =.=
Life is just as boring as anyone who always rots at home. But i managed to switch my body clock to normal. =x Sleeping at 10 or 11pm and waking up as early as 6am. LOL! I thought i will never have this kind of normal life. HAHA! So leading a normal life =/= rotting at home.
Note to self: Pris should get a job soon!!
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